It Started Small

I feel like I have to write. For now the TV is too loud but I don’t want to turn it off because Awkward is on and I want to see the end of it. But I wanted to talk about Lorenzo.

It’s been a month and a half since we first went out salsa dancing, which he said the other day was our first date. Since then we have been on multiple dates, most of which he has planned. It is so refreshing to have to the guy plan the dates. For so long I was begging my ex to do this or that, I had to be the one to ask for everything, to do anything, to get him up. It wasn’t always like this, but for the most part I was the one in control, but I quickly got tired of being the one holding onto the reins.

When I met Lorenzo, I was at a loss for words, for many reasons. One of them being is that he admits he can be controlling but not in an aggressive way at all, but an exciting and fun way. For once I have a guy that wants to get to know me, wants to do things with me, actively seeks out ways to see me, talk to me. I feel like I am actually someone to be valued. Not that I need that from a guy, because I know I am great despite my downfalls, but it feels amazing to have someone else prove it to you.

My ex never used to touch me much, and I had to ask him to touch me if I wanted him to. Not even in a sexual way, simply just to touch my arm. I thought it was natural for me to constantly want to talk to him, touch him, love him. I don’t doubt that he did love me, but it wasn’t right and I accept that now and have long since moved on.

***

For a while I didn’t know how I felt about Lorenzo, he was nice but I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I went on dates and he made me happy, it was so easy and simple, I never had to try.

It started in small ways.

Watching him reading a description next to a painting in a museum, scratching his trimmed beard.

Trying to talk to my friend Madison as Lorenzo sat behind me, playing with my arms and hands.

Seeing him working on a new project, determination and excitement splayed across his face.

Laughing at the myriad of facial expressions that make a crease in between his eyebrows.

Twirling in my kitchen as we whacked this and that, trying to Tango, Salsa, Cha Cha and Swing dance all in one night.

Watching him rough house with his beautiful Husky, Kayla, as he jumped, growled and crawled all over the floor.

Then there were some bigger things.

One evening, while we were at school, Lorenzo decided to come to the Dining Common next to my dorm since I was always coming back to his room. There was also the added perk that my roommate was gone for the weekend. So we ate dinner, laughed, held hands, and then the end of dinner came and we were reluctant to part. I glanced up at my room, which you could partially see from the street and then back at him.

“You know my roommate isn’t here for the weekend, you could come over for a bit if you like and see my room.”

Luckily for me, he decided to come up to my room, but said he could only stay for a while, which was fine. Any time I could get with him, I was happy. So we shed our jackets, gloves, scarves and hat (it was winter and freezing cold!) and he immediately went over to my side of the room which i was secretly pleased by. I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to tell (If you guys read the post before Swept Off My Feet – the picture Tango Argentine is actually a poster I have!). We both sat on my bed and talked for a while. Eventually we started kissing and that led to more heated actions until we had sex together for the first time (but neither of us were virgins).

After that we cuddled together, me in the crook of his arm with my arm across his chest and leg over his leg. His arm traced lines across my body as we talked about our past, the things that scared us, our deep dark secrets. We both revealed things that were very hard for us to talk about. This was extremely new for Lorenzo who is an only child and very much used to keeping to himself, even with friends. We stayed up until 5 a.m. talking to each other, caressing each other until we could hear the birds chirping and sun rising. He insisted on returning to his room even though

Lorenzo later confessed to me that that was the night he fell in love with me.

***

A few days later my friend Gavin was having a drag show at a local club, I always attended his shows as the Drag Wars were always hilarious so I invited Lorenzo to come. Luckily he was very open minded and agreed to go. The club is much like any other club with flashing lights, blasting music, a dance floor, two bars and a raised stage. La Virtuosa, Lorenzo, Gavin, a few friends and I were the first ones on the dance floor of course as La Virtuosa and I broke out our sexy dance moves. I think Lorenzo felt a little awkward at first because he immediately bought a drink for himself, but soon he returned, and after watching me dance, entranced, he decided to dance with me.

I could not have expected it, but HOLY SH*T he knew how to dance. He held my hips and swayed to the beat, bending down and kissing my neck, or swirling me around to face him. Never before had a guy danced so amazingly with me! Dare I say he danced better than me, but I loved it, of course giving him a few surprise moves too. Soon he started to salsa with me (I think) and under a mirage of flashing lights and swaying bodies he dipped and kissed me, the most romantic gesture I’ve ever received, and I fell in love.

“I’ve always wanted to try that,” he said with a grin.

 

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