The Vacation Home

So this weekend I am staying home instead of at college. I didn’t even think of the fact that it was a long weekend, but that just means more sleep for me! (Which I sorely need after seeing my drag queen friend place first in a drag wars competition last night).

Whenever I come home, everything seems as if it has been enveloped in a warm bubble. Every single thing is exactly the same as when I left for the first day of college. The messy artwork everywhere, the piles of unopened bills on the counter, the tropical plants and the unfinished windows. Despite it being messy and unfinished for many years, I still love when I come home. I feel like it’s a break from all the drama I deal with at school. I especially needed a vacation from my interlude with John, who’s window I still glance up at every now and then to see if the light’s on (I can’t help it, I see his window every time I walk up to my dorm).

The drive home is exhausting already, reminding me why I enjoyed going off to college in the first place, but I grin and bare it knowing that these people raised me to be who I am today. Eventually I realize it is more stress and anxiety from school that has me getting frustrated rather than seeing my family. I take in a deep breath and push out all the bad energy as we enter the city limits.

Going home allows me to reflect upon everything that happens at school. It lets me step outside of myself. Looking back on it now, I realize I liked the idea of John with me more than John himself. I am lonely, I admit that, and getting comfortable with loneliness is something that will take time, but I know I won’t settle for the awful guys I used to if I just realize that there will be others after them.

Well, it’s really late and I am exhausted. I can’t wait to catch up on some well deserved sleep, see you guys tomorrow!

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