Learning to Date

So I last left off with me getting to college and being all happy and single. It’s been interesting to say the least. I have met, made out with and gave a couple of guys my number over the course of the semester but none that I really found intriguing.

Once I got to college I mistakenly decided to let my ex start talking to me again saying he had changed and that things were better for him now. We talked for about a week and he even visited me  but… it just didn’t feel right. I didn’t love him anymore and I don’t think that was ever going to come back. The final straw was when I was crying late one night and I really wanted someone to talk to, anyone. I tried calling him over and over and he eventually answered hours later.

“Hey, I’m busy can I call you in 30 minutes?”


We hang up.

At this point I am exhausted because it is 2 a.m. on a school night. I fall asleep and never end up hearing from him. So of course the next day he tries to call me but I know it’s too late. I don’t answer. Then he threatens “I don’t think I’ll be here much longer” in a text but he’s done this before so I knew he was trying to guilt trip me into getting back with him. I just stopped talking to him altogether and I felt so much lighter. I felt like a huge, 2 and a half year long weight had been lifted from me.

A great friend of mine coined the phrase perfectly when she said “People don’t change, they adapt to their surroundings,” and never before have I felt that ring so true as I do now. We had some good times, my ex and I, but in the end it wasn’t a right fit and I had to move on and move forward. I am no longer than naive (well still a bit naive) 17 year old girl I was when I first met him. I am a strong, confident, learning-to-be-independent 20 year old woman.

By the way being single is so weird. I’m really happy that I get to experience the second half of college single but it is so odd. I never dated before my ex, I just had a series of boyfriends, the two before him about a month long each. With dating I can see multiple guys in a given week. Go out one night and have a guy slobber on my face, then have another play drums for me while I belly dance. Sadly these guys didn’t interest me so of course they keep trying to text me and see me.

But then I met a guy.

A really attractive guy.

And I think I like him…

But I have to go to bed, I’ll regale you of the details later. I really hope this doesn’t become a smut thing. I feel like it’s turning into one of those fan fictions except it’s my real life…


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Cats Meow
    Nov 02, 2013 @ 06:42:52

    Congrats on sticking up for yourself. & Yay for moving on and finding another guy….A really attractive other guy!! Good luck!


    • Autumn
      Nov 02, 2013 @ 16:33:07

      Thank you 😀 It’s so exciting but also makes me so worried and nervous. Thank you for reading this too, it’s my way of discovering who I am and I hope it can inspire others and help them when they go through tough times. Things always get better 🙂


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