Internet Dating

So, I don’t really know if anyone reads this, but I apologize for the lateness of my posts. I have been very busy with school and life but I think I am ready to start documenting my excursions in being single. So let’s go back to the middle of the summer, back when I started to realize that I was worth much more than the guy I was crying over every night.

So, I decided to join a dating site because I saw a commercial for eHarmony on TV and I thought “Hey! I’m single, I think i will try this out!” I was at a point in my life where I was tired of being sad, tired of being lonely. The guys from my hometown were not desirable simply because we had all known each other since we were toddlers and that would be creepy to date someone who was basically your brother.

At first eHarmony was fine. I was answering questions and having a blast filling out my profile, then came the actual using of the site. The people of that site are extremely serious about finding their soul mate and getting married. I did not know this. I did not pay for it so I couldn’t see anyone’s pictures and was very limited with communication but still was able to get in contact with soooo many guys. Soon the requests to chat came flooding in and I felt so excited. People were actually interested in me, and wanted to get to know me.

For one reason or another things fell through with most of the guys. A lot of them seemed to want to start a relationship immediately and having just gotten out of a serious relationship two months ago, I was not ready for one yet. I remember one guy got upset when I told him I was not interested in him. He got so mad that I did not have plans to get married next year. But come on, I’m freaking 20 years old, I not ready to settle down at all. I’ve just begun to live my life and discover who I am.

So, needless to say, eHarmony was not for me. I grew bored with it after two weeks and decided to cancel my account, not without keeping contact with a couple people via email or facebook. I tried out DateMySchool for a day, which was a total flop because barely anyone was on the site. You have to have a wide range of people using the site for it to work and so it was just awkward. The idea was definitely fascinating but needed to be advertised at length for anything to really happen.

Then there was OKCupid which was a pretty cool website. I mean, it was what it was, a predominantly hook-up website where you could also find people who just wanted to date. It was fun going on there because I could meet people locally who just wanted to get to know other people (or hook up) without long term expectations. I met a couple people on there that I went on dates with but those didn’t really work out either, we just weren’t right fits for each other. was the same as eHarmony with its seriousness so I didn’t bother with creating an account on there. Sometime in between these sites I started talking to a guy I met from eHarmony that I had kept in contact with via email. He was a nice tall, robust all American guy. He worked for his father in construction while doing community college on the side. He was the first guy to treat me like a lady that should be respected and I mistaked that for “the one” letting myself get captured in the idea of immediately getting into a relationship.

At the same time I was terrified to be hurt again and told him from the start I was not ready for a relationship. So he took me out on amazing dates in Boston and the surrounding area. We hugged, had our first kiss on a pier over looking Boston Harbor and laid on a blanket watching the sunset over the Boston skyline. It was romantic, exciting, fun… but it just didn’t feel right. I kept getting mad at myself thinking, why did I not feel it? Why was I not falling for this guy? He’s sweet, romantic, kind, a hard worker, everything I thought a guy should be.

We continued dating up until I got into school. Over time I talked to him less and less until I came to the realization that I was not emotionally attracted to him. There were things about him that I just could not stand and it didn’t feel right. I think he was more about abating my loneliness, not to say I didn’t enjoy myself, I had so much fun with him. But he was more of a friend than someone I wanted to be with romantically. I think he may have been my first rebound… I feel bad but it just happened and I didn’t realize it until it was over.

By that time I was back in school though and I had many things to keep me busy, like being the new Co-Captain of Belly Dance Club, classes, new friends and writing for an online magazine. I had switched into a new, better mode of living. I had come to college single and I was sure as hell going to take full advantage of it.


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